Days 27 and 28 - A Dirty Hippie with Sweaty Hair

Day 27 was pretty unremarkable - I ran for a bit in the snow and slush. I'm quickly getting used to running outdoors in crappy weather that would previously have kept me in the house. I also get the feeling that I'm training lots of tiny stabilising muscles by running on slippery ground, and I am excited to see if it shows itself as better physical conditioning when I (finally) start marathon training in earnest.

On Day 28, Cecelia and I went to Hart House, where I used to work out during my undergrad at U of T. Since I was there last, they've significantly updated the upper gym with a new floor, and shiny, new cardio and weight machines - it was pretty fantastic, and I wish I had had more time to take advantage of it. 

Cecelia - you're famous now!

I ended up doing a fast 30 minutes on the treadmill, and followed that up with ten minutes on the stairclimber. It was pretty gratifying that the girls on either side of me on the treadmills were huffing and puffing and running intervals and I was able to run straight through. Less than a year ago, I couldn't have run more than 1 or 2 minutes at a time, and in September I ran a half-marathon without stopping or walking. It was a nice marker of how far I've come.

Love the Rvnning Track and Vpper Gymnasvm!

After my quick workout, I rinsed off in the shower and sped out the door to meet Katie for a Les Mis matinee (yes, we finally saw it!). I didn't have time to wash my hair.

And that's fine, because I'm a dirty hippie and I prefer not to wash my hair more than every three or four days anyway (and usually with some all-natural hippie shampoo that the Environmental Working Group approves of). I usually wash it at the pool after varsity practice (mainly motivated by getting the chlorine out), and even less regularly when we aren't practicing. 

Which leads to the following question: 

What is a dirty hippie to do with her dirty hair when engaged in the pursuit of serious daily sweat?

When I was in New York City recently, Maddie introduced me to Lush's No Drought dry shampoo, which was really nice - it smells yummy and allowed me to extend my no-wash time by a couple of days. Amy uses Silky Underwear, which is also a nice choice (and I will admit that I have a couple of little bottles of it).

I thought it was great...and then I read the ingredients on the bottle. Cornstarch and essential oils, people! 

That's pretty much all you get for $14.

My secret weapons against stink when I'm trying not to look cheap...when I'm okay with looking cheap, cornstarch is fine.

Of course, I didn't have enough self-confidence to just go ahead and mix some corn starch and essential oils to put on my head, so I went on a confirmatory Google journey to prove to myself that it was okay.

News flash, guys: It's okay. 

Crunchy Betty says so.

I searched out a bunch of DIY dry shampoo recipes, and tried a few, including one with cocoa powder, which is supposed to be good for dark hair. I couldn't stand the smell, and the cocoa really didn't help the cornstarch blend all that well, so now I stick with corn starch and mix in some essential oils (I really like grapefruit, and bergamot is also good). 

The secret seems to be loading up on dry shampoo at night, brushing it in so that it gets to the roots, letting it soak up all the nasty oils overnight, and then blow-drying out the excess in the morning. I also have the limpest hair you've seen, and dry shampoo gives the illusion that my hair actually has body. Fantastic!

Try it. Seriously.

Power posing on the stair, confident in the knowledge that my armpits smell like lemon and my hair smells like jasmine.

Gratuitous bolding.

Day 26 - Doing It Everywhere, All the Time

Today's sweat arose from the disappointment of a sold out showing of Les Mis.

After unsuccessfully trying to convince Amy that she might love to watch a musical on a big screen, Katie and I lazily took the subway all the way around the loop to the Dundas Square Cineplex to watch Les Miserables. 

UC, I love you.

Of course, it being Friday night, when we arrived the show had already sold out (COULD ANYONE HAVE PREDICTED THIS?). After significant hemming and hawing, we decided to head home rather than spend money on an IMAX showing or a drink. Katie took the subway, and I decided to seize the moment to get some sweat in by speed-walking home. I had originally planned to run, but had realised too late in the evening that the sidewalks were icing over and running in the dark would consequently be a dangerous prospect. So I set off on the walk back to Amy and Katie's apartment, with a nostalgic detour through the U of T campus and through the Sir Dan's quad. It wasn't as intense as I would have liked, but at least I squeezed in those 40 minutes.

Last time I asked Amy what I should blog about, she suggested broiled cheese chips as a topic, but this time she (more helpfully) suggested I talk about fitting physical activity into little packets of time.

The truth is, I have had plenty of time over the past few days, but most of my life is about finding little packets of time into which to slot all the activities of my daily existence - and isn't everyone's life like that, really? My schedule is irregular, and it's dictated mainly by people who don't know anything about me, my goals, or my life, and sometimes don't care. It would be easy to use that as an excuse to not get in any physical activity.

Other good excuses?

I'm tired. My knee hurts. My shoulder clicks. I need to relax and decompress. I need to study.

Need a few more?

I have to do laundry. I just ate. My apartment isn't clean. My sports bra stinks.

Cats don't need excuses to do the things they need to do.
They just watch squirrels whenever the opportunity arises.
I want to be like this with physical activity.
Bam.
 Just fit in another cat photo.

All of these are reasonable, rational excuses, and I'd accept them from anyone else but I just can't accept them from myself because if I accepted every reasonable, rational excuse, I'd never get anything done.

Not every day is going to yield a perfect opportunity to be physically active. In fact, most days won't. There will always be good excuses for not getting things done. But there will also be great opportunities for squeezing in physical activity - like walking home from the cinema instead of taking the subway (take note: I got home only a few minutes after Katie!).

A friend of mine is engaged in 365 days of self-care, and her first blog post about it (which I won't link to here, lest I violate her internet anonymity) talks about a need not to wait. I think that's true for my project, as well.

The fact is, I just can't wait. There are a million good reasons to not be physically active, and I may not be able to spend 2 hours at the gym, but I can squeeze in 40 minutes walking instead of a 30 minute trip on the subway. Sometimes what stops us from getting started is the seeming impossibility of the task.

I need to make it not impossible. 

I need to make it easy. 

And I need to git 'er done.

This is not a picture of me, but I wish it were.

Day 25 - Fine. Let it snow.

Today, the snow finally stopped.

Toronto is covered in a thick layer of pretty whiteness...intermixed with some grey-brown slush.

Gross.

On my run today, I realised that what I really like is either a thick layer of packed snow or a cleanly shovelled and salted sidewalk. The worst parts of the sidewalk today were those that had been shovelled but were unsalted and slushy from heavy foot traffic (I'm looking at you, Bloor! You too, Spadina! And don't think I forgot you, Dupont...). I had decided not to bring YakTrax to Toronto with me, as no snow had been forecast for my entire stay, so I had to pick my way along carefully. There were a few close calls where one foot or the other went sliding out sideways, but I managed to make it to the grocery store (my ultimate destination) unscathed but quite wet with slush.

And then I baked a bunch of potatoes and stuffed them with sharp cheddar and asparagus.

I asked Amy what I should blog about today, and she helpfully suggested I blog about "when cheese is broiled so that it is no longer cheese but is a cheese chip and a beautiful, delicious mistake". 

So, um...that happened.

Yep.

Day 24 - And then it snowed.

Yesterday I was saved from eternally languishing in Hamilton by Amy and Katie, my knights in shining antler-bedecked armour. The drive out of Hamilton was treacherous, but by the time we reached Toronto there was not a flake in sight.

So we arrived home, sat around in the living room, and ate lots of carbs smothered in fat with no redeeming nutritional value.

And then it snowed.

Ugh, snow.

Since I hadn't yet done my physical activity for the day, I knew I had to head out, so head out I did. I walked a snowy and difficult 45 minutes, arriving back at the apartment with snow so heavily coating my eyelashes that my eyelids were at half-mast from the weight. Two girls in Korea Town laughed as I walked by.

It was unpleasant. 

Today I will run in the snow. Think happy thoughts for me.

Gratuitous cat shot.

Days 20, 21, 22, and 23 - Run for Your Life.

8.5 urban kilometres on day 20!

The past few days have been all about running, with a few important lessons learned:

1. People wear trail shoes for a reason.

2a. Eating before running never works out well.

2b. As a corollary to 2a, half a wheel of beer-battered Brie is an especially bad idea.

2 very painful, Brie-filled kilometres...

One of the things that people often ask me is what I wear when I run outdoors during the winter. It's kind of a funny question, because I've been running for less than a year, so I'm definitely not an expert. I also really chafe at the idea that there is only one right way to dress for running - I figure that whatever you're comfortable in is the right thing. I also understand how uncomfortable it can be when you've got the wrong gear, though, so here's a run-down of what I prefer to run in when it's below freezing. Your mileage may vary.

4k for meta-day 22!

On my head, I prefer a Buff folded or rolled up into a headband. Mine is merino wool, and quite breathable while still keeping my ears warm. It also holds my earbuds in nicely! I don't like to wear a hat because I find that my head gets overheated and sweaty. I also like that I can pull the Buff down around my neck if my head gets hot.

Uh...day 23, you alright?

On the top half, I usually wear a long or short sleeved technical shirt and cover it with a shell to keep the wind out. I recently bought a pair of running gloves, and I like them because they don't hold all the sweat in like other gloves or mitts do (and if you've ever seen me run through a race water station and take a cup of water just so I can rinse my hands off, you'll understand why I prefer wicking gloves - I just hate sweaty hands).

On the bottom half, I usually stick with a pair of uninsulated running tights (those aren't the ones I actually have!). The ones I have right now are from Running Room, and I frankly do not like them at all. I find that the two important aspects of any running bottoms are the height of the waist and the location of the pocket. The ones I have do not have a high enough waist, which means that my chubby belly likes to squish its way out when I get into any appreciable distance (pretty mental picture, isn't it?). They also have a pocket in the front instead of in the back, the unfortunate consequence of which is that if I carry my health card in the front pocket it actually cuts the front of the my thigh! Worst!

Christmas Day run in Hamilton

Some people wear special winter running socks, but I usually just wear regular old all-season running socks. My favourites are Balega Hidden Comfort. I wear my regular running shoes, which are Nike Free Run 3s at the moment. If it is particularly snowy or icy, I strap on some YakTrax for extra traction.

Ultimately, running in the winter is all about what feels good for you. When I started, I couldn't afford any fancy gear, so I stuck with yoga pants, cotton gloves, and an old sweatshirt. I've slowly built up my gear, focusing on the most important or useful pieces first, and then increasing my comfort (and maybe my running cred...?) as I went. I see a lot of people running faster than me in some really crappy gear, which reminds me not to fall into the trap of believing that gear makes the runner...

Also, hello Phil and Shivonne - nice to know you're out there reading about my "365 days of craziness"!

Merry Christmas!

Day 23

The finished product of the baking! 

Guess what I got!

It's Christmas! The day has finally arrived. Kind of anticlimactic when you think about it. All this preparation and its over in 24 hours! I have 2 favourite parts of Christmas: baking cookies and stuffing. Ironically, both involve eating! Thank goodness for this challenge as it has forced me to get off my butt and move every day instead of stuffing my face with baked goods and watching movies. Today, even with all the festivities, we made it out for a walk in the park. It was FREEZING, but it was nice to be outside for a while. Now its back to eating, prepping dinner and watching movies. Just finished War Horse and I'm thinking Batman should be next!

Merry Christmas to all and keep up the good work! We are nearly a month in. This challenge is flying by! :)

Christmas carnage

-Nicole

Day 19 - Bake, Bake, Bake, WALK.

Baking was apparently a priority.

Today was a busy day, filled with things I should have started days ago - cleaning the living room, working on some edits for a paper I'm writing, and baking. Lots of baking. Over the past couple of days, I've made cookies, two types of cupcakes, and two types of homemade icing. It's absurd.

By the time evening rolled around, it was snowing and the ground was quite wet. I wanted to run, but I thought the sidewalk might be a bit slippery for my running shoes (and it certainly wasn't snowy enough for YakTrax), so I laced up my winter boots and walked for an hour and a half.

Bam. Done.

Day 18 - BMI and the Apocalypse

Yes, Randi, I reused the Day 8 sign.

If the world as we know it ends today, I'd like to clear up a few things about body mass index (BMI) we all should know before we shuffle this mortal coil (or run around smacking zombies with improvised weapons, or however this is supposed to work).

Body mass index is a calculation that takes into account your weight and height and gives you an estimate of your fatness. In other words, it purports to tell you whether you are at a healthy weight for your height. If you're curious about your own BMI, you can use this online tool to calculate it

I often hear BMI treated as the definitive word on healthy weight. People will tell you, for instance, that you are "safe" if your BMI is below a certain number (usually 25), implying that a BMI above that number is "unsafe".

In actuality, BMI is a screening tool that identifies people in weight categories considered high risk for cardiovascular disease, obstructive sleep apnea, Type II diabetes, and other health conditions that are often linked to high weight. Screening tools are helpful in medicine - they facilitate early detection of cancers, modification of cardiovascular risk factors, and early treatment of a number of conditions that are easier to manage when caught early. But screening tools are sensitive by necessity - this means that they pick up as many cases as possible by using rules and categories that aren't too stringent. They can't be too complicated, involved, or expensive. They are quick and dirty ways of splitting people into higher and lower risk categories, and they are general.

It is possible to be perfectly healthy with a high BMI and perfectly unhealthy with a normal BMI. 

As anyone who has ever tried to lose weight through physical activity knows, muscle weighs more than fat by volume. This means that very muscular athletic people are not served well by BMI. An athlete's BMI may indicate that they are overweight, or even obese - and thus at high risk for cardiovascular disease - when they are fit, trim, and in excellent cardiovascular health. On the other hand, someone who consistently eats junk, is physically inactive, or smokes cigarettes has an elevated risk of cardiovascular disease even with a normal BMI. BMI doesn't take into account body frame or age, and special tables or cut-offs may be appropriate for different ethnicities.


For those interested, my BMI is 27.5, meaning I fall into the overweight category. I did a treadmill test a couple of weeks ago (for an arrhythmia, not coronary artery disease) and was credited with one of the fastest cardiac recoveries from running that the technician had ever seen. In other words, my cardiovascular health is excellent, and this is supported by a recent panel of bloodwork (and, uh, the fact that I ran a half marathon a couple months ago...).

I'm not saying that BMI is not a good screening tool; it definitely has its uses. But if you decide to calculate your own, bear in mind its limitations. Don't get too stuck on the number.

 As for my workout, I did not want to do a single thing today. I wanted to stay home and bake and feed catnip to the cats.

Butter and chocolate make the world go round.

Cats on catnip = best entertainment value.

I offered myself options: Did I want to go for a run? No thanks. Yoga for Athletes? Nope. Swimming at the ARC? Hells no. I may have been in a bad mood following removing a truly gag-inducing wad of hair from the bathroom sink drain, I'll admit, but nothing appealed. It probably didn't help that the streets became a disgusting mess of freezing rain toward the evening.

Freezing rain is not pretty.

What finally got me to the gym was the realisation that I needed baking supplies. The grocery store is right across from the gym, so I could hardly ignore it. So yeah, I did 35 minutes on the elliptical and ran a few kilometres on the treadmill. It did not magically improve my mood, but having this song come up on shuffle did.

Dear feet, I don't want to and you don't want to, but let's do this shit so we can go home.

Day 17 - Practising What I Preach

Yeah, I reused the Day 11 sign - I'm trying to be eco-friendly, here.

A couple of days ago I made the very happy discovery that I can now move my left arm in an almost-full range of motion with almost no pain!

This is a big deal.

I have had pretty good range of motion for a few months now, but it has been painful and movement beyond about 70 degrees has been effortful. When I discovered how much my arm has improved since starting the challenge, I was pretty much ready to throw a party. What a lovely little bonus to daily physical activity.

This challenge just feels so damned good right now.

Fittingly, Katelyn and I went swimming today and completed a workout left at the pool by our coach, Renee (okay, Renee, we did make some modifications, as there was too much sprinting and too much fly in this particular workout...I miss being able to do butterfly).

Beautiful Form Girl looked like this.

I thought I was feeling so wonderful that I would have no trouble swimming, but instead I got a chance to practice what I preached on Day 14.

When we got to the pool, there was a lane free, so Katelyn and I grabbed it. The lane next to us was occupied by a Toronto Swim Club swimmer (I'd recognise that cap anywhere - they practice at the U of T pool, where I used to practice almost every day) with beautifully efficient form. I felt so self-conscious; I know my form isn't what it used to be due to my shoulder injuries, and if I was slow before, I pretty much move at a glacial pace these days. Of course, as soon as I hopped in, my right shoulder started to click on every right stroke, and I noticed that I had a twinge of pain at the front of my left shoulder at the start of the power phase of every left stroke. When I rolled onto my back, I was reminded that my shoulder doesn't smoothly rotate backward anymore, but veers out to the side. I felt hobbled and embarrassed and afraid of pushing too hard lest I hurt myself.

I looked like this.

But I could hardly give up after preaching persistence and self-confidence, could I?

So I warmed up a bit more - and the pain in my shoulder completely went away! It must have just been a little kink, and continuing to swim sorted it out. I wish I had discovered this earlier in the varsity season, because I would have pushed a bit harder in freestyle instead of switching to kicking whenever I felt a twinge. Though I still would have switched things up if the pain had persisted, remembering not to be afraid of the pain helped this time. 

I still felt embarrassed about my form, but you know what? The girl in the lane next to us probably couldn't do the ballet legs, front walkovers, and unders we did at the end, (it's really hard to find good video of synchro figures - maybe I'll need to make my own next time!).

And here's a little plug completely unrelated to the challenge: Yesterday, when I was donating blood, I noticed a sign saying that donors were needed between Christmas and New Year's. Apparently Canadian Blood Services runs low on donations during that time. If you haven't donated before, or it's been a while, please consider donating. 

Especially if you have O negative blood. 

That shit is liquid gold.

 

Blood. It's in you to give. Then it goes and sits in a fridge somewhere, which is kind of effing weird. But then it goes into someone else's body and saves their life, and that's pretty cool.

Days 15 and 16 - Making Change

Super-head warming on a cold and yucky day.

Super-hydration on a blood donation day.

Explaining this challenge to people forces me to think about why I'm doing it.

The truth is, I'm doing it for a few reasons:

1. I want to prove to myself that it is possible (which is sort of the way this guy feels about trudging across frozen landscapes, I guess, but...less about cold and more about sports bras).

2. I want to make a change in my life that will lead to a happier, healthier existence

3. I want to help other people make a change in their lives by being an example of positive change

When it comes to the third reason, I know that being an example isn't enough. Sure, it's helpful to show people that making change is possible (and I hope to do that!), but ultimately they will need to generate their own reasons to change. 

And the reasons they choose have to somehow motivate them to keep trying to do a difficult thing.

In med school, we learn a bit about motivational interviewing and the transtheoretical model, or "stages of change". At a very basic level, the idea behind both is that when people begin to generate their own reasons for healthy change, they will be more successful than they would be if those reasons were given to them.

This concept is often used in practice for smoking cessation counselling - first, we identify a smoker, and then we determine whether he or she is ready to quit smoking. We ask the smoker to generate reasons for quitting smoking, and then build on those reasons while generating a quit plan that supports them (for example, with counselling, healthy habits, nicotine replacement, and/or medications). One of the questions we don't often ask of ourselves or of patients, however, is which reasons actually help with smoking cessation. We assume that any internally-generated reasons are good enough.

But what are good reasons to change?

I wish I knew more about the topic and was able to find some good resources to support what I'm about to say, but I've thought long and hard and I think the best reasons to change are the trivial ones.

Sure, you could tell a smoker that she's more likely to die from lung cancer or suffer chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) if she keeps smoking, but will that get her to snap her cigarettes and flush them down the toilet? Doubtful. She's heard it before, and the long-term benefits associated with smoking cessation are just that...long-term. They're not relevant in the very moment when she's craving a smoke. You know what might be? That she won't smell of smoke if she doesn't have that cigarette. That she won't have smoker's breath. She doesn't have to wait 20 or 30 or 45 years to reap the benefits of not smoking that cigarette. She can start now, and every time she's craving a smoke, she can immediately enjoy the benefit of not smoking.

Diabetes won't stop me from eating this. The shape of my ass will.

Starting a regular routine of physical activity is a lot like quitting smoking - we have to recognise a need, generate reasons, create a plan, and then put that plan into action. And we may, like the smoker who quits, have to battle against backslides and relapses.

Desi is motivated mostly by food.

I don't always want to work out, and knowing that I'll reduce my risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease isn't powerful enough to get me to the gym. And yeah, both run in my family and are very real risks. Know what works for me? I know that if I I get to the gym, I'll feel better for the rest of the day. I know that if I go for a long run, I can eat a nasty treat and not worry about the calories. I know that I'll sleep better tonight. The benefits I know I'll encounter in the near-term are far better motivators than the ones I won't experience until I'm 50.

I'd love to know what motivates you, lovely (but silent) readers. What gets you to the gym, the pool, the yoga studio? What keeps you reaching for fruits and veggies? Am I on to something here, or way off the mark?

Can we help each other and ourselves make positive change by focussing near future and forgetting about the long term?

Oh. And I did two hours of cardio on Day 15 and 75 minutes of yoga at Studio 330 this morning. Yep.

Day 14 - INSANITY

Another bittersweet day in 356daysland...

Uh...I think that says Day 14...

Today was farewell to Danya until February when our paths will cross for a few days during our electives in Vancouver. Instead of a nice dinner or sitting in a cozy coffee shop, Danya suggested we head to the gym together. Little did I know that she had brought her laptop along with her and was about to subject me to Insanity Max Interval Plyo in the big studio room at Goodlife.

So. Hard.

A big space for two girls to fill...

I probably did about half the reps and had to modify several of the moves to suit my ability, both cardio-wise and shoulder-wise.

And it was still SO HARD. I'm tapping away at the computer in a t-shirt absolutely drenched with sweat. If all the workouts are like Max Interval Plyo, I would definitely recommend the Insanity series. It's really nice to be able to do a workout that requires no equipment (unlike P90X, which I also like, but which requires equipment) and still really makes you feel like you've accomplished something by the time you get to the end.

I haven't talked much about what it's like to work out this much with injuries and some post-surgical restrictions. I'm definitely no expert, but I've gleaned some knowledge from my experience and I know injuries are something a lot of people struggle with so I feel like it makes sense to share what I know.

It can be difficult to get back into physical activity after an injury or surgery - your routine has been interrupted and it's hard to motivate yourself to start again, you're often starting from a lower level than you're used to working at, you worry about re-injuring yourself, and things hurt, dammit. Here's some hard-won advice that keeps me working out with a couple of bad shoulders and fairly recently recovered post-surgical shoulder:

How do you come back from this?

1. Stop focussing on what you can't do and start figuring out what you can do.

After my shoulder surgery, I was devastated that I couldn't swim (I started up a year later) or rock climb (I still haven't been able to return to rock climbing). It's easy to understand these restrictions intellectually, but when reality smacks you in the face with them after surgery it's hard to really get your brain wrapped around the idea that things have changed. I felt pretty low knowing that I couldn't do the things I loved, but - when I was allowed to be active again - I worked hard to figure out what I could do. I could run, and so I learned to love running. Over time, I began building up a repertoire of other activities I could enjoy with minimal pain and risk, and that list is always expanding.

2. Modify, modify, modify.

Yeah, maybe you can't do a perfect yogic handstand with your bad shoulder, and maybe you can't squat twice your body weight with your bad knee, but there are almost always slight (and sometimes major) changes you can make to approximate the movements you struggle with or that cause you pain. A physiotherapist, athletic therapist, or coach or expert in your sport is a great resource for ideas that will get you started on making modifications. As you get more comfortable with their suggestions, you can start looking on your own for ways to modify more of  your favourite activities and increase your participation. It's so worth it.

I miss this...but there's still a lot I can do.

3. Don't be afraid to feel something.

You shouldn't feel pain when you're working out, but if you live your life in fear of feeling that twinge that tells you to back off or slow down, you'll never do anything. Be gentle with yourself, but not too gentle.

4. Try not to worry about what other people think.

Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious when I'm in a class and an instructor tells us to raise our arms straight up...and my left arm veers to the side while my shoulder shrugs up against my will. Or when I'm in the pool swimming laps and I jerk my left arm around instead of gracefully rotating my shoulder. But I can't do a whole heck of a lot about it, so I've had to learn to accept it. I've realised that very few people really notice these little quirks, and almost no one points them out. Why should I be self-conscious, anyway? I'm not sitting on the couch - I'm out of the house doing something to achieve and maintain the best health I possibly can, and that's something to be proud - not ashamed - of.

Sometimes you're going to feel pain, and that's going to suck. But - contrary to popular belief - that's not your body telling you to STOP. It's your body telling you to CHANGE what you're doing. 

And believe me, it's worth it.

Bam. Two weeks of sweating complete. And yes, this shirt is from Divisionals in 1999. Am I dating myself?

Day (Lucky) 13 - What Motivates Us?

Poor food choices = YUM!

First off, whoa. This blog has had over 1500 views as of today. Unbelievable, considering it was conceived simply as a way to track workouts and remain accountable. Thanks for reading!

Today was a lovely day of sleeping in, lazing about, and not doing much of anything. I am between rotations and freedom feels so nice!

In the afternoon, I finally forced my lazy body into some semi-respectable clothes and walked through the incredible cold to Starbucks, where I made some very poor food choices and spent a lovely couple of hours enjoying the company of Eve, who is one of the funniest, most approachable fellow med students I have the honour of knowing. After our cozy gab-fest, Eve returned to her studying and I trudged over to the gym, where I spent an hour and a bit doing some low-intensity cardio (elliptical, stair-climber, and treadmill, for the record) to a pretty fantastic playlist that included the first track that got me really into hip hop.

Pedal faster, dammit!

The gym was empty, except for a few of us chugging away on the cardio equipment or in the weight racks, and I started thinking about what motivates people to come to the gym on a Saturday night.

I spent a large part of my masters thesis expounding on attribution theory. Attribution theory, first proposed by Bernard Weiner in 1980, gives us a way to talk about why some people persist on difficult tasks (even after failure) or choose to do things that are challenging, while others give up easily and are more likely to choose easy tasks.

The idea is that we attribute success or failure to reasons that fall along three basic dimensions - locus, stability, and controllability. All that jargon describes is that when we succeed or fail we have to decide whether it is due to factors inside us or outside us, factors that will change or will always be the same, and factors that we can alter or those that we have no control over. 

Newsflash: I like cats.

For example, if you try a twisted triangle and immediately fall over, you could decide that it happened because you are no good at yoga (a factor inside you), that you will never be good at yoga (a stable factor), and that you have no control over how well you do a twisted triangle. On the other hand, you could decide that it happened because the floor was slanted (a factor outside you), that you wouldn't have fallen at a different yoga studio with a not-so-slanted floor (in other words, that the factor that caused you to fail was unstable), and that you could go to that studio next time (the factor is controllable). The same type of framework works for describing our own successes.

It may seem like an academic exercise to imagine how we describe our successes and failures, but here's where it's relevant: If we decide that our failures are due to external, unstable, and controllable factors, we are motivated to persist. So if, for example, I can't run 5k and I decide it's because the weather is bad, that it won't stay bad forever, and that I can improve my ability to run in bad weather by training harder, I'll keep trying to run that 5k until I succeed. Attributing success to internal, stable, and controllable factors is also motivating. So when I finally run that 5k and decide that I succeeded because I have the ability, that I will always have the ability, and that I have the ability because I put in effort, I will be motivated to continue. There's an absolute wealth of research backing this up, and I will be sure to post some in the upcoming days and weeks.

So why do I show up to work out everyday? 

Katie described me as a "practiser" the other day, and I think that's accurate. I often choose things that are really difficult for me to do. Then I plug away at them. I don't get discouraged easily, and I think it has to do with believing that if I work hard enough, I can get better and be successful.

So I commit to going to the gym, knowing that external factors that kept me from getting to the gym have changed, and knowing that if I put in the effort to show up each day, I'll be successful. And that when I don't reach my fitness goals, I can always count on changing circumstances and the value of trying harder to get me to success.

Failure sucks, but at least it's temporary.

Next time you worry that you won't achieve your fitness goals, remember that external circumstances will change, and that your effort counts. And don't be afraid to try again.

This blog just got so damned touchy-feely.